so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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