Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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