At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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