Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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