A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
