literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
NoShamevember. You game?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
