I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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