yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
