we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
