ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize