he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
