marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
