i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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