shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
