They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Drake has all the answers
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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