i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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