I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
