what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
