I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
