its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
