i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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