i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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