He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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