It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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