I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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