so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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