And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize