Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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