Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
