so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
