her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
