this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
