I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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