that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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