Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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