Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
