@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize