i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
