I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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