1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
