ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize