how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
