that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
