I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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