I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
