Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
