Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
