Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize