We named our party play list daddy issues
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
