So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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