Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
