My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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