I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
