and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
