I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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