I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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