you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize