I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think i have two assholes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
