YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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