There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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