Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize