i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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