NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
