I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
