I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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