Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the day after is always just damage control
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
