Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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