i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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