I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize