u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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