I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
