i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize