Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
