Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
