I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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