And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
