This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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