I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
