Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
