Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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