Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
