He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So gin and wine won't be happening again
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
