We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
