You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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