I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sarcasm needs its own font
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize