yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
